The "Acquisition"

i got the call i had been expecting for 3-4 days..it came 2-3 hours before my most difficult and crucial endsem exam...i was running randomly with notes in my hands and infinite nabad in my head trying to make the most of my last few hours..every now and then i would look at the skies and pray,,''bhagwan aaj waala tu dekh le ,,aage ke saare main sambhal loonga" ,,but how many times can you fool the almighty ??how stupid do you think he is, to fall for the same shit again and again. So the praying has stopped yielding any fruitful results for me..infact since my 10th board exams i have been on my own trying to make my way through with no help whatsoever from the top floor....
Now the situation was getting pretty tense and with every passing minute, the end seemed nearer .Suddenly the phone started ringing...was an unknown local no. , "ohhh,,,this must be the call,,they must have started calling people"...
I picked up and the following conversation ensued--

Mr A-Hello, is this Mr. Aditya Shekhawat??

Me- yes, who is this??

Mr A- Hi Aditya, this is A calling from Mahindra and Mahindra.We met that day..remember??

Me- yes Sir, I remember, how are you Sir, How is Mr. B??

Mr A- Mr. B is good and i am fine too.. ahh listen Aditya are you free for sometime ,,we would like to conduct the telephonic interview that we talked about that day..

Me- [confidently] Yes sir,,not a problem [kya poocchega ,,,maa %$%$$ doonga interview mein to main,studd to main hoon hi..:P]

Mr A-Okay,, so Mr C will be taking your interview ,C has been working with the techinical department at M&M for 30 years and the interview is going to be techinical in nature [Fatt li...fatt ke hath mein aa gayi..technical???technical mein to kucch nahi chamkta,,even the KV kids would have more technical knowledge than me]

Me- Errrr...Sir i have an endsem in 2 hours,,would it be possible to postpone the interview to some time later

Mr A- i dont think that would be possible Aditya, Mr C is a senior member [marwa diya,,isko to chutiya bhi nahi bana paaunga] at M&M, and he is generally a very busy person..

Me-[:(] Okay Sir.

Mr A- Dont worry, the interview wont be more than 10 mins [10 mins????itna kya poochhega?? aaj to beizzati hone wali hai..meri bhi aur IIT ki bhi]

Me- Okay Sir.

Mr A- okay then talk to Mr C.

Me- [unsuccessfully trying to recall the one or two formule that i had mugged up an hour back] okay sir [:(]

Mr C- Hello Mr Aditya,How are you today??

Me- I am fine sir [ cant be worse,,please dont butcher me with your "tech questions",,please ask something very trivial,some thing like Newton's law or something..:P]

Mr C- without wasting much time we will start the interview,,it's basically going to be a brief technical interview, i am trying to test your basic understanding of things.

Me- [hahhahahaha] okay sir.

Mr C- first of all, tell me if you see yourself working with in the automobiles sector.

Me-[hah,,that should not be difficult, fatte pel deta hoon ],,yes sir i do. I have been fascinated by autombiles since my childhood..[as a kid i used to chase them and throw water balloons at them when they passed through my street]..i have always wanted to work on cars,,infact the reason why i came to IIT and took mechanical engg. was because i wanted to get into the automobiles..[Damn right]

Mr C- okay,,so what do you know about M&M??

Me- [ yeah!! another easy one ] Sir, Mahindra is a name which all of us have grown with.M&M has its reach in all sections of the society from the farmers, in the form of tractors to the urban societies with cars like scorpio and Bolero [ yeah baby...i am totally in control..],The best part is that inspite of being an indian company it has held its ground against so many International Car-makers and has been able to give the best of services to the people of India......................................................{Now comes the part for which i have taken the trouble to write a post between the endsems}.....[yes...this is going great,,,now i should nail it with something big and give an example or two,,,what ???what???..oh yes...JAGUAR...]....{and then i did it,,i opened this bloody mouth and uttered this to a Senior member of 30 years at mahindra}............. IT WAS A PROUD MOMENT FOR THE ENTIRE COUNTRY WHEN M&M TOOK OVER JAGUAR .......................................................and a deadly silence fell down over the phone..he had been expressing his approval verbally after every sentence of mine ,,but he didnt say anything after the last sentence...,,what had gone wrong [oh shitttttt!!!!Blunder.....blundersupremus....it wasnt M&M ,,it was TATA motors,,the biggest rivals of M&M...ohh God,help me. O dear God, please help me..should i disconnect the phone??..i think i should coz ther's nothing left to say anymore..]

Mr C- Errrrr.....actually we did not take over Jaguar,Tata motors did [ yeah i know ..how wouldn't i know,, i have been fascinated by automobiles since my childhood...:P]..we were in the fray till the very end but we couldn't fix the deal and it was Tata motors who walked away with Jaguar [yeah old man, i can feel your pain and humiliation ,, i should not have done this to this poor 60 year old chap by bringing this up..tch tch..]

Me- Ohh yes yes,,Actually i followed the proceedings till that point only and then i thought it was Mahindra who had sealed the deal [fir fenk di tatti..jai ho...jai ho..]

Mr C-in extreme give up state--okay that's enough about us [yeah man,,i can sense the sarcasm,,dont think i am a fool..oh ok..you have every right to think so..] lets talk about you..

Me- [i thought it was going to be a techinical interview]
what followed it was an irrelevant, crappy discussion on NSS, Street play and ADAA with me nearly promising to take him backstage if i was given the intern...the interview lasted 2 mins 23 seconds with no technical question at all..the results havent been declared yet but i guess i do not need to hear it to know it..:)
The worst part is that i told the entire incident to my wingmates,,,who thus got a way to release their entire endsem frustration by laughing at me..in the last 4 day this incident has been discussed 400 times and i have been called names like ,"the merger boy","jaguar" and stuff and infinite jokes involving me, mahindra, tata and obviously jaguar have been thrown at me..it has been too difficult for me to make fun of others coz as soon as i grab someone's leg ,,,that bastard brings this up again and i have to run away from there to protect my ears from the deafening rounds of laughter that follow.
I'll sign off now,,,have loads to to..lots of mergers and acquisitions to plan...:)